Lamps on Lamps on Parties: How the Parable of the 10 Bridesmaids is Relevant for Teens Today.

I love parables! Parables are a stories told by Jesus that illustrate a spiritual point or lesson. And Jesus was good at telling parables ... at taking every day objects and the experiences of his day and translating them into some really cool spiritual truth! Sunday in worship we heard the interesting parable of the 10 bridesmaids! I’ve been thinking about it since! Specifically, I’ve been pondering about the foolish women in the story, the mistakes and screw ups they made, and how it relates to the lives of teenagers today! As Fr. Paul pointed out in his sermon, five of the bridesmaids were not prepared, had to walk away, and missed out on a grand party with the groom! This story is not insignificant to the teenagers I am blessed to work with as a youth minister but the awesomeness of it could easily be missed … so here are a few of my thoughts! The parable goes that there was a wedding party and 10 bridesmaids went out to meet the groom. In Jesus' day, a wedding celebration lasted several days and typically would start with the groom heading to the bride’s house at night time! The bridesmaids would have gone to meet the groom as a part of the celebration and would light his way into the house. Further, the guests and wedding party were determined by those carrying a lamp. Those who were not were thought to be intruders! So having a lamp/light at a wedding celebration was very important on multiple levels and everyone knew it! In this parable, the groom takes a lot longer to arrive than the bridesmaids had expected. Scripture says that while they were waiting for him, the 10 women fell asleep. How often do teens today wait for Jesus to show up in their world or situation. When we Christians perceive Jesus isn't showing up "fast enough" (or in the way we want), we give up and go to "sleep" too, sometimes! I'm just sayin' ... In this parable when they awoke to hear that the groom was getting ready to arrive, only half of the women had come prepared with extra oil and could re-light their torches / lamps. The “wise” and “prepared” women were able to re-light their lamps and go to meet the groom, telling the “foolish” and “unprepared” women they didn’t have enough extra oil to share. While the “foolish” women go to buy more oil, the groom arrives and the celebration begins! The women with the lamps and extra oil are invited in to the party and the door is locked, leaving the "foolish" women out! Sometime later, these “foolish” women who had to walk away from the celebration (to go buy more oil) arrive back at the party. They knock on the door and ask to be let in but are told no. The bridegroom says something to the effect of “I don’t even know you!” If we think about this parable as the bridegroom representing Jesus, the 10 bridesmaids representing you and me, and the oil representing our faith, there is a very clear lesson! When the parable starts, note that ALL 10 of the bridesmaids have a lamp burning. As the story goes on, the lamps of those who weren’t prepared with extra oil … or who were carless and foolish … their fires begin to die out. I think this is a lot Christian teens! At some point they all have hearts on fire for Jesus. Perhaps their flame really starts to glow on a church retreat or perhaps because of a Young Life event or through a small group Bible study! But as time goes on, busy-ness takes over, or teens face peer pressure or cultural expectations, the "foolish" or "unprepared" teenager's fire for Jesus begin to grow dim and maybe even dies out. Often when a teen's fire dies out, they walk away from the celebration and party of which Jesus invites us to be a part. God created us to worship and be in relationship with God. When our fire dies out and we walk away from the celebration of a Christian life, it’s like Jesus is saying to us that he doesn’t even "know" us! I mean, come on, we’ve turned our backs and walked away from this amazing party that is the Christian faith! Who would walk away from a celebration such as the one in the parable? Seriously? Who? Us! And it happens more frequently than we’d like to think, especially as a teenager being pulled by youth culture and peer pressure! But, as Fr. Paul says, if being a Christian makes you angry or is stressful then you aren’t doing it right! It’s a party! And there is probably a lesson in the fact that the five wise women who were "prepared" with extra oil weren’t willing to share the oil! In his sermon Fr. Paul talked about being disturbed by this fact. As I thought through it, I think teens can learn from the things Jesus really could have meant by this piece of the story! The first option could be that it truly matter with whom we associate. As a teenager, it is important to be with and surround yourself with people who are generous and who unconditionally love you (despite your foolishness) and will do things to help you as you journey in faith together! Having friends with the same values and morals is key as a teenager. But this can also be quite challenging; we need adults need to understand. And not only is it important to have peers such as this, but also mentors! That's why we work so hard and are so blessed in youth ministry to have adults willing to be present in the lives of teenagers who volunteer as advisors, confirmation mentors, and event Lenten prayer friends! They are a non-judgmental, loving, dependable presence in the lives of teenager and that is so important. The second option could be that Jesus was trying to teach us that ultimately we are each responsible for our own faith. Even as a teen! Often times we grow complacent in our faith (teens and adults). We think we have enough to get by. But faith is about more than getting by! We each need to be accumulating "extra" faith or a stronger faith and knowledge (i.e. the oil) so that when our faith is tested, we have more than enough to make it through. So, ask yourself (or your teen) when was the last time your heart was really on fire for Jesus? Was it during the fall retreat? Last year? Last week? And how are you accumulating an extra jar of oil or working to strengthen your faith and be prepared for times of trail? Prayer, worship, youth group? Are you reading your Bible? Do you even know where your Bible is right now? How big is your fire burning or is it growing dim? Come on, join the party!