"No!"

So, recently, I’ve really been praying that two particular and specific things would happen, one for a friend and one to me. Every day, I pray for it. EVERY DAY! I’ve been waiting and hoping (it seems like forever) for a little good news concerning these desires of mine. But, for now, the answer I’m getting from God is a resounding – NOPE! I don’t want this answer from God and I certainly don’t like it. Mainly, I don’t understand why it has to be a “No.” What I want is what I want and I want them now … selfish, but true.  Funny, I feel a little like the little girl in Willy Wonka as I type that. You know the spoiled brat girl in the scene with the chicken/eggs … hope I don’t end up down a tube!

Most of us don’t like the answer – “NO!” It’s human nature, right? Think about it! Even when we are toddlers and our mom/dad tells us we can’t have or do something … what happens? We cry and get upset.

As the parent of a six year old, the repercussions of my telling Blaine, “No,” are all too fresh! Take last night, for example! We were all watching the Super Bowl and around 8:00pm, I told Blaine it was time to go to bed. He asked if he could continue to watch and I said, “No.” He then proceeded to stomp up every SINGLE stair towards his bedroom, fling himself on the floor at the top of the stairs, and scream at the top of his lungs “It’s not fair,” as tears streamed down his face. His world was crashing in around him … all because of two little letters – N.O.

And, I remember being a teenager and having my mom tell me “No.” “No, you can’t do anything until you complete your weekly chores.” “No, you can’t go to that movie with your friends; it’s rated R.” “No staying out past your curfew will not be okay; not even just this once.” “No, you’re not away at college this week to do whatever you please and we have rules while you are staying under my roof.” My mom (and sister) can attest, I got really good at slamming my bedroom door to express my displeasure at the word “No.”

Right now, I just want to stomp up every one of God’s stairs and fling myself on the ground in front of God and scream at the top of my lungs, tears streaming. It’s not fair. I just know it would make me feel better. And surely it would entice God to give me my way ... (yeah right).
And then I remember – there’s a reason the answer is no.

When a toddler, six year old, or even a teenager is told “No” by a parent, there is usually a reason why it needs to be so. Continuing the example of Blaine and the Super Bowl temper tantrum … I had to tell him he couldn’t watch anymore because it was time for bed. The repercussions of him not going to sleep would have impacted many people and our week in so many ways! First of all, we have a very busy week and he’s already potentially going to miss his 8:00pm bedtime call two nights this week; plus his cousins, aunt, and grandmother are coming for a visit this weekend. This means we need find a way to get him a little extra sleep earlier in the week. We have learned that Blaine thrives best when he gets a solid 9.5 to 10 hours of sleep a night. You see, Blaine gets very grumpy when he lacks sleep and, additionally, he doesn’t listen very well. This would mean he would be more prone to have issues at school with teachers or friends, at church on Wednesday night during John E., and at home (to name a few). Getting through the week would be a struggle that could have been avoided, somewhat. But, Blaine doesn’t understand any of this and can’t think forward in that way. On the other hand, it was the best decision for him; and I, as his parent, had a responsibility to enable him to have as successful a week as possible.

I would never pretend to understand the mind of God, but, surely this must be how God feels at my temper tantrum of give me what I want and do it now and it’s not fair if you don’t! While it would be very helpful to me if Jesus would take me by the hand and show me the reason why the answer needs to be “No,” that doesn’t always happen. But I am confident that “No” is the answer because God always intends the best results.

A final note: I don’t believe any of this makes dealing with the answer “No” any easier. I am still upset and downright mad that the answer has to be “No” (especially for my friend). But all this does give me confidence that one day I will understand. And, thankfully, I am reminded through the struggle that God is in control and this is exactly why I don’t need to be. After all, I don’t think God enjoys saying “No”; God loves me way too much for that. It’s just that God has a full understanding of the repercussions to saying “Yes.”

It must take an unbelievable amount of strength and courage for God NOT to intervene in free will situations. But that is just it; that is how much God loves us. God loves us so much that (like me as a parent to Blaine) God is STRONG and BOLD enough to say “No” even when it is not fair. Can you imagine having to do that every single day in every single way? I don’t think I could, especially in a life or death type of plea.

I think this JJ Heller song (“Your Hands”) sums this all up well: